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Eric Guneagle

Pirate Master
~ Chapter 1 My crib ~​
Once upon a time, there was a wolf stalking a little girl who wasn't even pretty, It's like twilight all over again. Oh, wait. Wrong story. TAKE 2

Once upon a time, there was a little Eric who lived in a house on Padres beach. When he was 7 years old, he was taught how to fight. I always went up to skeletons and said " Whos the daddy now, freak!". Then I killed them. Yes, I am awesome, I know.

~ Chapter 2 The EITC Stinks ~

One day, the EITC came up to my door and said "Open Up!" The worst part was, they never knocked! WAHHHHH....
Anyways, they wanted my dad because he called Lord Beckett by his real name on the phone, and his name happens to be Ariel, like the little mermaid. We refused to open up. My parents told me to crawl out the back door. They would handle it. When I went outside, The house exploded and my parents died.
The EITC saw me and decided not to kill me, because I was a little boy. That would have been very rude, had they killed me. They brought me to a prison, and kept me prisoner for 2 weeks, and the scariest thing happened... The EITC walked in and told me I had a cellmate, and they threw Jack Sparrow in with me.

~ Chapter 3 My new friend is a bad person to the EITC, but is super cool. ~

Jack Sparrow slowly got up from the ground. He looked at me.
" Ah, a rookie pirate. Well, welcome aboard the get out of jail free card express, savvy?"
"Hey, you sound a lot like Johnny Depp, are you related to him?" I asked.
" Um... Yes... Maybe.... Anyways, I know how to get out of this rat hole.

"Cool, how?" I asked.
"The navy and EITC are very cheap, they do not know how to make cells right, so just kick them open. This isn't Jersey Shore." He instructed.
"Okay, I guess." I agreed. I put back my leg and swang on the door. He clapped when it opened.
"Nice job, now let's go. I'm hungry." He said to me. We went to the door and found a surprise, the EITC standing right there when it opened.

~ Chapter 4 The legendary deck swabbers ~

Jack and me were taken to Lord Beckett's ship. Lord Beckett was really mad. He was so mad he made us swab his deck for life. Our first duty was well, to swab the deck.
"This is so stupid." I grumbled.
"I got an escape plan." He said.
"Oh really? Enlighten me." I said to him.
" Lets kill Lord beckett. That way, the EITC won't know what to do. They will have no leader to command them, and will fall."
"That is a horrible plan." I grumbled.
"Just trust me." He said.
"Fine." I agreed " But they took our weapons."
"We only need fits, guts, and my good looks." He said. We went into his office and knocked him out with our fists. Then we took over the wheel and locked the door. the wheel was in his officer, what an idiot. We sailed into shore and escaped. Jack Sparrow became my dad.
~ Epilouge ~

They eventually caught us and put us in jail. We kicked out again, and he told me he would see me another time. I went out the door and saw cannons being shot at the island. I knew I had to get out of there. I looked at the lonely dog in the jail cell one more time. We winked at each other, and I ran out the door and began my quest.

Jack Sparrow
EITC idiots
That weird dog from outcast
lol I think some people pressed the dislike button because it's funny and they really wanted to press it to make a laugh.
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This riddle needs improvements, such as some other story, but don't CUT yourself on this SHARPLY good story. ;)