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Request feed back

Discussion in 'Tech Savvy' started by Jacksharkben, Oct 10, 2017.

  1. Jacksharkben

    Jacksharkben Notorious Pirate

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  2. Jacksharkben

    Jacksharkben Notorious Pirate

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    well I think im done (still need feed back)
     
    #2
    Last edited: Oct 10, 2017
  3. prattmatt

    prattmatt Buccaneer

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    First thing I notice, from personal experience, is you don't want to daisy chain too many switches. http://prntscr.com/gw1hpc It's not a big problem here, but if you start to manage a large network, you just have to remember if something goes down, you're probably going to have to sneakernet all the way through troubleshooting unless they're all smart switches or what not. Even then, you still might have to.

    Edit: I doubt that would change your grade though.
     
    #3
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  4. Stormtimbers

    Stormtimbers Pirate Lord

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    I can't comment on the validity of the information but I can tell you that you definitely need to proofread and change some phrasing.

    • Name should be capitalized (Slide 1)
    • send* (Slide 2)
    • USB, Google, Dropbox, and Outlook should all be capitalized (Slide 2)
    • Rephrase "make everyone happy", possibly "fix this to everyone's satisfaction" (Slide 2)
    • Coworkers is one word (Slide 4)
    • Instead of using a slash, use "or" (Slide 4)
    • Remove the period between "boss" and "without" and remove capitalization on without (Slide 4)
    • End sentence with period
    • Change "get perms" to "have permissions" (Slide 5)
    • Change "perms" to "permissions" in the second line (Slide 5)
    • Add "and" before "see all" (Slide 5)
    • Remove the "and" in the third section and change "perms" to "permissions" (Slide 5)
    • "things that might happen" is very vague, make this more specific (Slide 5)
    • If everything is underlined, nothing is (Slide 6)
    • CDW should be capitalized (Slide 6)
    • Not required, but you should probably configure the google link so that it has a name instead of just a URL (Slide 6 and 7)
    • Capitalize "Walmart" (Slide 7)
    • Try to avoid repeating "into" so close to each other (Slide 7)
    • "Cat 6" should be capitalized (Slide 8)
    • Link again (Slide 8)
    • This is extremely awkward and unnecessary quote placement (Slide 8)
    • "Its" should be "It's" in the second section (Slide 8)
    • "WiFi" should have W and F capitalized (Slide 8)
    • Capitalize "Windows 10" and remove capitalization from "on" (Slide 9)
    • Change first comma to semicolon (Slide 9)
    • Remove capitalization on "with" and the period before it (Slide 9)
    • Remove capitalization and the period before it from "on" in the second section (Slide 9)
    • Change slide title to "What will protect the computers?" or "Computer Protection" (Slide 10)
    • Remove "well" from the introduction, change 2 to "two", and add colon at the end of the introduction (Slide 10)
    • Add semicolon after "vary" (Slide 10)
    • "a 25% discount" instead of "a 25% off" (Slide 10)
    • Title links instead of using URLs (Slide 10)
    • Remove "So" and capitalize "the" (Slide 11)
    • Change "what is what" to something less informal (Slide 11)
    • End sentence with period (Slide 11)
    • Remove "So" and capitalize "this" (Slide 12)
    • Put quotation marks around the quote (Slide 12)
    • Title the link instead of having the URL there (Slide 12)
    • Increase the size of "Any questions?" and add question mark (Slide 12)
     
    #4
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  5. Jacksharkben

    Jacksharkben Notorious Pirate

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    thanks but this was handed in at 8:00 am central time
    but im keeping this so thanks, I will make changes.
     
    #5

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