IF I HAD TO DO IT ALL OVER AGAIN
With every single leaf of Calabash trees in Tortuga
I’m reminded of that day
I never knew the long journey ahead of me
Which started with that whisper in my ear
When he walked up to me
Asking for a little more than a friendship
I never knew that, from that narrow path
My faith was sealed
----
I was all alone
in this unfamiliar place
When he found me and became my first friend
He introduced me to his home and friends
And to the new world of friends and families
That I never knew existed before
I took my long break from this world
Only to find that I was all alone again
With only he as a friend
Who invited me to his brand new home
I thought I was as happy as I could be
Had I not known that I could be so wrong
----
I was torn between two worlds and two friends
And I had tried to do my best
To be a part of each
But I knew it was never going to be enough
I let my other self be revealed
And I realized it right away
That things would never be the same again
From that moment on
I watched people come and go
I watched him leave and come back
I listened and I healed
and I watched the family for him
I had done my part to help
But sometimes things left me behind
----
I was exhausted walking down that road
I wanted something for myself
My decision would be a path changing journey
But I was ready to take a step
To create something that I could call my own
A noble man who had been a friend and a mentor
Took me in with a warm welcome
It seemed to be the most natural thing
To be a part of that his family
I enjoyed my time like I never did before
In a true fellowship from people I called my family
Who saw me grow and never put me down
For having so many personalities
----
I have been proven wrong over and over again
And I found myself doing it again for a friend
Fate met us at his ship
As he sailed as a mighty Captain
I left him only to find
that I could not get away from him
He said, “I want all the Jades that I can”
As I’ve heard those words before
I was taught so much of faithfulness
Of what it meant to be a part of a family
When he said he would leave
I told him that I’d watch the family
But I knew that he would never leave
Cause he grew here and owned the family
----
My palm had the word adventure edged on it
I should’ve not expected anything less
I have made friends all over the Caribbean seas
And I wished I had had the power to multiply myself
A hundred times more
Just to make them happy and give myself more
----
When he told me he wanted to leave
I felt a knife stabbed into my heart
He said it was time to move on
But I refused to accept it
He said, “Come with me, we’ll find a new home”
I numbly followed him
I said goodbye to my first home
But a part of me died inside that day
I asked him to follow me to my other home
To meet my other me, my other friends and family
But I had to move on
And find my own destiny
----
I was looking at a Titan, powerful and mighty
But I was determined to be a part of
The transitions gave me with so many emotions
Alone and peculiar, with a part of my heart still left behind
But I made my way through
And I made my new home here
Now I could tell myself
That I would have a future with my new family right here
----
I’ve been heartbroken so many times
And I’ve seen broken hearts everywhere
I know I will be broken hearted again
And I will be breaking more hearts
But if I had to do it all over again ….
I’d walk that narrow path again
I’d meet that man again
And I’d be the Jade that I am
All over again
----
A tribute to Gold Shield, which was and will always be my first home,
and to Freedom Republic, Crew Quarters, The Prophecy and Spania, which are and will be, my homes.
A special thanks to Jim Daggerskull, who inspires me to write.
