Hahahahah Rofl Omg Lol Haha

Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by Captain Peanut Butter, Feb 12, 2011.

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  1. Captain Peanut Butter

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    post funny jokes here. it can any type..

    yo mama so stupid she locked herself in a mattress store and slept on the floor!
     
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  2. Captain Redhorn

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    Why did the chicken cross the road?
     
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    James Birkshaw likes this.
  3. Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was
    really angry[​IMG]

    She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the
    driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!"

    The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke
    up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box
    gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway.

    Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought
    the box back in the house.

    She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.

    Bob has been missing since Friday.
     
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  4. Rose Sunslipper

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    LOL
     
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    Kate and Jim Daggerskull like this.
  5. lol i have tons... but im gonna get filtered if i say them [​IMG]
     
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  6. Jim Daggerskull

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    Yo mama so fat she saw a school bus and said, "TWINKIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!". Hehe:)
    I forgot where I got this joke...
     
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  7. Will Nightwolf

    Will Nightwolf Legendary Pirate
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    Lol this should be a fun thread just remember to keep everything you write appropriate.
     
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  8. Rose Sunslipper

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    i cant say any of mine either :p
     
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  9. Jim Daggerskull

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    That was pretty much the only one of mine I can say.. :D
     
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  10. lol easier said then done
     
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  11. Jim Daggerskull

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  12. Captain Peanut Butter

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    true dat.
     
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  13. A group of girlfriends are on vacation when they see a 5-story hotel with a sign that reads: "For Women Only." Since they are without their boyfriends and husbands, they decide to go in.

    The bouncer, a very attractive guy, explains to them how it works. "We have 5 floors. Go up floor by floor, and once you find what you are looking for, you can stay there. It's easy to decide since each floor has a sign telling you what's inside."

    So they start going up and on the first floor the sign reads: "All the men on this floor are short and plain." The friends laugh and without hesitation move on to the next floor.

    The sign on the second floor reads: "All the men here are short and handsome." Still, this isn't good enough, so the friends continue on up.

    They reach the third floor and the sign reads: "All the men here are tall and plain."

    They still want to do better, and so, knowing there are still two floors left, they continued on up.

    On the fourth floor, the sign is perfect: "All the men here are tall and handsome." The women get all excited and are going in when they realize that there is still one floor left. Wondering what they are missing, they head on up to the fifth floor.

    There they find a sign that reads: "There are no men here. This floor was built only to prove that there is no way to please a woman."
     
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  14. Will Nightwolf

    Will Nightwolf Legendary Pirate
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    Heres a joke that I cleaned up a bit I heard it from the simpsons.

    A man find a geenie lamp and he rubs it and a geenie comes out. the geenie says I shall grant you 3 wishes but whatever you get your wife gets double. He wishes for 2 cars so his wife get 4 cars. he wishes for 2 house so his wife gets 4 houses. Then he says take away half my stuff with the divorce. So his wife looses all her stuff with the divorce. and he is left with a new car and house.
     
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  15. corey

    corey Pirate Lord

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    wanna hear a dirty joke? a white horse runs and falls in the mud! ha ha ha[​IMG]
     
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  16. Kate

    Kate Pirate Master

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    ROFL
     
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  17. Rose Sunslipper

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    xD
     
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  18. A completely inebriated man was stumbling down the street with one foot on the curb and one foot in the gutter. A cop pulled up and said, "I've got to take you in, pal. You're obviously drunk."

    Our wasted friend asked, "Officer, are ya absolutely sure I'm drunk?"

    "Yeah, buddy, I'm sure," said the copper. "Let's go."

    Breathing a sigh of relief, the wino said, "Thank goodness, I thought I was crippled."
     
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  19. Amelia Darkskull

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    knock knock
    whos there?
    hatch
    hatch who?
    haha made you sneeze
    ^^ makes me crack up every time
     
    #19
  20. Men Are Like

    ..Place mats.
    They only show up when there's food on the table.

    ..Mascara.
    They usually run at the first sign of emotions.

    ..Government bonds.
    They take so long to mature.

    ..Lava lamps.
    Fun to look at it but not all that bright.

    ..Bank accounts.
    Without a lot of money they don't generate a lot of interest.

    ..High heels.
    They're easy to walk on once you get the hang of it.

    ..Handguns.
    Keep one around long enough and your gonna want to shoot it.

    :D hehe....ohhh u boys r gonna hate me for this :p
     
    #20
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