I agree with you, that is very annoying. It also happened when I took the wheel off to see who had come to my ship and try to crew them, and somebody took over my wheel without even asking. And when I warned them openly on the local chat not to take the wheel over without Capt.'s permission (so that it became known to everybody on the ship that such action was not acceptable), they became grouchy. I wanted to kick them off, but of course I couldn't (sad!).
I had a 'feeling like pulling my hair' experience with all kinds of ppl on the ship. One night I was cannoning on a public ship, and there was a girl pirate who would not, and I mean, would not stop asking the Capt. to dock. We - who wanted to level up and make money - asked her to stop and tried to explain the idea of replacing cargo with the better ones. Instead, she deliberately kept on screaming DOOOOOCCCKKKKK for tens of times. And she called the Capt. names (as in "who ever drives this ship is stupid"), and when we reminded her that it was the Capt., she confirmed that "who ever drives this ship" was stupid. That was over the line. But we couldn't do nothing, and nor could the Capt! The wise Capt. asked us - the crew - to put her on 'ignore'. Yes, that was all we could do ... pitiful ... We did dock eventually, but that kind of action should not have to be tolerated by a Capt. of the ship.
Last night, somebody stole my ship. Literally. I was just about to port at Padres when an unknown person tp-ed to me. I saw the incoming message right before I hit the dock button. He was not my friend, so I was guessing he found my public ship through 'looking for a crew' thing. I tried to have my ship repaired at the shipwright, but it wouldn't let me. So I thought, great ... my ship was glitched because of that person. So I re-launched my ship and sure enough, I found a stranger steering away my war frigate towards Port Royal ... a lvl 8 unlimited Swashbuckler who - I was almost positive - was an experience player who acted as a super noob. All I could do was 'preaching' to him on how rude his action was. And yes, you've guessed the response; he laughed at me. This was one of the rare occasions that I really wanted Disney Potco to add to the pirate's skills ... the ability to slap somebody's face! It would be nice if I could have kicked his tail off my ship, but of course, all I could do was porting and hoping to never see him again.