How to be a MAN_

[Shamus The Brute]

Fairly deep subject for the forums but, it's something I have always felt compelled to write. Perhaps now is the right time (and so, please do not derail such a thread if you don't quite get what the below is talking about).

You see...I suspect that A LOT of dudes out there, are dealing with (or have dealt with) A LOT of personal junk going on inside of 'em. Looking back on things now, I think POTCO had as many problems as it did with male pirates because a lot of young dudes were:

• Showboating/showing-off
• Peer pressure/had a need to feel accepted online by others
• Thoroughly enjoyed disruptive behavior (i.e., smack talk, 'hacking,' role-playing dramatics, etc.)
• Allowed their competitive side to get the best of 'em

In hindsight, I think a lot of what occurred was the result of the struggle which happens when a grown boy desires to become a MAN. *To this day even, I strongly believe that a lot of guys within our community are still struggling to understand not only themselves but also their own place/role within this world. Anyway, if you are a guy and you want to give someone else some advice on what has helped you to mature into the MAN you feel you have become today...speak up because it's quite obvious to me that the ladies have us all figured out even though we assume that they don't.

"Man Up," and do it today (here) ye scallywags!

 

[Shamus The Brute]

My personal advice to others would be, don't let a game take away from you the integrity others hope to see...within you. As with all things, your interests will change but the memories themselves last forever. Therefore, if you wish to make a name out of yourself and hence a legacy do something positive within this cruel world for the purpose and intent of helping "others."

 

[Divine]

• Showboating/showing-off

• Peer pressure/had a need to feel accepted online by others

• Thoroughly enjoyed disruptive behavior (i.e., smack talk, 'hacking,' role-playing dramatics, etc.)

• Allowed their competitive side to get the best of 'em

People are still doing this in TLOPO. I remember doing all of these things in POTCO back when i was 10 ahahah.. World is so much more different in my eyes though now, well said.

 

[Shamus The Brute]

People are still doing this in TLOPO. I remember doing all of these things in POTCO back when i was 10 ahahah.. World is so much more different in my eyes though now, well said.

Reason why I think such a subject needs to be written and exposed. The behavior and attitudes of the past are still quite enduring today and online...for a lot of guys. (In essence, one's 'competitive drive' has become too self-serving and off-keel).

 

[Cha0tiX]

Honestly I don't see as many people showboating in TLOPO than in POTCO... BUT... in my personal life experiences I have done this before and I have seen others try to "be a man". Thanks for sharing this

 

[Shamus The Brute]

Honestly I don't see as many people showboating in TLOPO than in POTCO... BUT... in my personal life experiences I have done this before and I have seen others try to "be a man". Thanks for sharing this

About showboating/showing-off...

When I was a teen and somewhat up into my mid 20's I used to walk around with a certain confidence as if the BLING and the MOJO I carried along with me was...all that. In hindsight, it was all in my head! As such, there is nothing wrong with having a good self-image and confidence but I guess what I am trying to say is...don't expect the entire world to bow down to you just because you might feel that way about yourself.

Those of us whom have been around to know a few things know that such "airs" a lot of guys try to front publicly are only masking or covering up what is going on inside of 'em. *Take MMA (mixed martial arts) fighters as an example where some fighters choose to participate within the television reality show, "The Ultimate Fighter."

On television, many of these fighters talk smack and put on a display of airs but when it's all said and done...no amount of boastful words truly matter because within the cage all that counts is performance (aka results). Even if someone is fortunate enough to win bouts on a regular basis that still does not assure that they will never lose. *The same concept and approach can be applied towards LIFE and if you're man enough to accept that with what you both say and do (along with the acceptance that you are not all that) I will gladly reach through this screen to shake that dude's hand.

Here's the kicker; the online world is no different.

 

[Vice]

 

[Grace O Maille]

Ok, I'm not a guy....and my opinion stands the same for guys or ladies,

...be yourself, be genuine, be kind, be thoughtful.........these are some the qualities that will make people want to be around you

It is VERY easy to forget when you're online...looking at all these cartoon-like characters running around, every one of those toons
has a real person sitting behind it, with real lives, real problems and real feelings.

A lot of people, when they're online, present themselves somewhat differently than they actually are IRL. I think we all do to a certain
extent. I'm not talking about lying about who you are, I'm talking about feeling free to present yourself differently, because you know
that the people you are associating with aren't looking at YOU and judging you in quite the same way, they're seeing the person you WANT them to see.
You know what? That's fine, it's not a bad thing...maybe IRL you're quiet and shy, but you act more confidently and often end up on 'centre stage'
......maybe IRL you struggle to talk with girls, but online you present yourself as a bit of a ladies man.............It makes you feel good, gives you confidence, allows you to BE a different person and lets you escape from the real world for a while.

I have no issue with any of that, but just remember the real people behind those toons, they too have their 'issues' and are possibly showing a persona that differs somewhat from the person you think they are. Showboating to make yourself look better, especially if it means pulling someone else down is not good. Being hurtful towards people online can be very damaging, in ways that you just don't realise precisley because you don't know exactly who that person is IRL and the effect it will have on them after they walk away from that screen.

So be genuine, be kind, be thoughtful, keep your integrity....it doesn't make you a 'mamma's boy', it makes you a better person!

 

[Shamus The Brute]

...It is VERY easy to forget when you're online...looking at all these cartoon-like characters running around, every one of those toons
has a real person sitting behind it, with real lives, real problems and real feelings.

A lot of people, when they're online, present themselves somewhat differently than they actually are IRL. I think we all do to a certain
extent. I'm not talking about lying about who you are, I'm talking about feeling free to present yourself differently, because you know
that the people you are associating with aren't looking at YOU and judging you in quite the same way, they're seeing the person you WANT them to see.

There are so many things you say above ^ to quote that, it was difficult for myself to highlight (because I 'wanted' to include all of them). But even so, thank you (very much) for your entire post as it touches upon and captures a theme a lot of people need still to understand.

What we do online...leaves an impression or footprint upon others. I specifically mention "others" for a reason. While POTCO/TLOPO alone is just a game, the impression you do make upon others is both molded and shaped as a result of...just a game. So I ask the reader whom spends time reviewing this thread, 50 years from now are you going to feel comfortable or uncomfortable as to what you had done (online) all because of Pirates of the Caribbean Online (post 2013 activity)?

*A wise woman or man will find some time to ponder such a question.

 

[Cha0tiX]

About showboating/showing-off...

When I was a teen and somewhat up into my mid 20's I used to walk around with a certain confidence as if the BLING and the MOJO I carried along with me was...all that. In hindsight, it was all in my head! As such, there is nothing wrong with having a good self-image and confidence but I guess what I am trying to say is...don't expect the entire world to bow down to you just because you might feel that way about yourself.

Those of us whom have been around to know a few things know that such "airs" a lot of guys try to front publicly are only masking or covering up what is going on inside of 'em. *Take MMA (mixed martial arts) fighters as an example where some fighters choose to participate within the television reality show, "The Ultimate Fighter."

On television, many of these fighters talk smack and put on a display of airs but when it's all said and done...no amount of boastful words truly matter because within the cage all that counts is performance (aka results). Even if someone is fortunate enough to win bouts on a regular basis that still does not assure that they will never lose. *The same concept and approach can be applied towards LIFE and if you're man enough to accept that with what you both say and do (along with the acceptance that you are not all that) I will gladly reach through this screen to shake that dude's hand.

Here's the kicker; the online world is no different.

This belongs in a book, and all of the other memorable things you've said.

 

[Shamus The Brute]

This belongs in a book, and all of the other memorable things you've said.

I just know how it feels and...I suspect there is "something" going on still inside those whom purposefully strive to cause trouble within the community. Thank you, though, for your kind words.

 

[Hoot]

Hoot The Pirate guide on how to be a man.
Don't friend people immediately
Don't do bad substances to ruin your life. (I done this now I got IIIB NSCLC)
Always try to be nice to your wife.
Do not abuse your children. (I myself have been abused back in the day)
Always attend your kids games and other important times in their life's.

 

[Rouhan]

I think the best pieces of advice I've obtained are from my dad, and has helped me quite a lot in terms of manning up. As a teenager, yes the impulse to be accepted is present, so Number 1 "when you want to be accepted, do you want to be accepted as who you are, or who other people want to be?"

This has got to be important because I have now come to the conclusion that a some people will never accept you as who you are.

The second piece is more important in my eyes, and is 'when you argue with a fool, the only thing that happens is you become nothing more than a fool'. This has made me realize that the outcome of a debate is usually based on the parties involved. If you're 'debating' with someone close-minded, the result will probably be shouting, whilst if you're debating with an 'intellectual', the outcome is usually different.

As a 14 year old (nearly 15! ) I would say that being realizing your faults and being able to correct and implement viable solutions is key to obtaining 'manhood'

If you don't believe I'm 14, PM me and I'll show you, haters .

 

[Shamus The Brute]

Hoot The Pirate guide on how to be a man.
Don't friend people immediately
Don't do bad substances to ruin your life. (I done this now I got IIIB NSCLC)
Always try to be nice to your wife.
Do not abuse your children. (I myself have been abused back in the day)
Always attend your kids games and other important times in their life's.

Thank you for responding. *A lot of important tips others guys could use or take away for their own lives and selves. Thanks for being open and for being honest as you have been Hoot.

I think the best pieces of advice I've obtained are from my dad, and has helped me quite a lot in terms of manning up. As a teenager, yes the impulse to be accepted is present, so Number 1 "when you want to be accepted, do you want to be accepted as who you are, or who other people want to be?"

This has got to be important because I have now come to the conclusion that a some people will never accept you as who you are.

The second piece is more important in my eyes, and is 'when you argue with a fool, the only thing that happens is you become nothing more than a fool'. This has made me realize that the outcome of a debate is usually based on the parties involved. If you're 'debating' with someone close-minded, the result will probably be shouting, whilst if you're debating with an 'intellectual', the outcome is usually different.

As a 14 year old (nearly 15! ) I would say that being realizing your faults and being able to correct and implement viable solutions is key to obtaining 'manhood'

If you don't believe I'm 14, PM me and I'll show you, haters .

You've got a lot of wisdom for being almost 15, @Rouhan. Thank you for sharing. *Yes, a lot of good things you had touched upon and I think if there are some guys (out there) struggling with much the same...your insight could teach them something NEW. Thanks for that.