Discussion Lacking a Purpose

Captain Jack Truesilver

Captain Jack Truesilver

Notorious Pirate
For the last three years, I've had a goal to be on my high school's basketball team. Since sixth grade, I've been in love with basketball. The passion for it gradually became stronger as I began playing more. Towards the end of eighth grade, I had the thought, "Well, I'm terrible at basketball, but I love it a lot. What if I got good enough to play for the freshman team next year?"

Thus, the goal was born. For five and a half months, my dad helped me train to become an adequate basketball player, and by the time the tryouts came around, I'd gotten to be pretty good by freshman standards. Well, I made it to the end of the tryouts, being among the 21 best players in the school. But sadly, I was also among the eight people who were not on the roster the next day. But I never gave up. I tried again for the sophomore team, where I made it even further despite being extremely sick, and then again just this last year for junior varsity.

I never made the team. No coach in their right mind would choose a senior, no matter how good they were, who had never played on the team before. A senior wouldn't be sticking around after the season ended. A smart coach would choose good players that have chemistry and mesh and who will also be around for a little longer.

Well, I didn't quit, but I did accept that this was a chapter in my life that had come to a close. But to move on in life, you can't keep rereading previous chapters. You've got to turn the page.

Well, here's my problem. For the last three years, fighting for this dream is all I've known. All I've known is that in order to prove to my school one day that I was a good player, I had to keep going to the gym every day and battling it out with my own self doubt, as well as the doubts of others. So now that I no longer have this goal, I feel pretty aimless.

Essentially, I am the author of my life's story, but now I'm having writer's block.


So my question is this: Have any of you ever felt the same way?/Do you feel that way right now?
 
Captain Jack,

You are way ahead of the curve, hon. I teach high school and there are SO many who have no goals or dreams whatsoever. It's sad that life has already beaten them down at such a young age that they have already given up on those dreams they had as middle schoolers or younger: the Doctor, the Lawyer, the Fireman. I had a young man in my class last year who refused to do any work because he was convinced he was going to be a professional video game player. My thought is that if that is all he does, he should have turned pro already since many of the pros are about his age or possibly a little older. Based on a report by "The Lion's Perspective", "there's a rising class of 16-25 year olds who are considering playing video games as a job.” Professional gamers are typically in their 20's with 9 to 12 years of experience. I'm not saying he won't be nor did I discourage him at all but the likelyhood that he will need a high school diploma is vastly higher than the likelyhood he will turn pro gamer (in my opinion).

I'm glad you have a goal and a plan to stick with it. I had a similar experience when I was young and wanted to be a cheerleader. I did what it took and achieved that goal, which led to many other opportunities I would not have otherwise had, such as scholarships to college. It made me who I am today and it all started with the hopes and dreams of a little girl sitting at the fence watching the cheerleaders.

~ Kat
 
Kat Five Knives said:
Captain Jack,

You are way ahead of the curve, hon. I teach high school and there are SO many who have no goals or dreams whatsoever. It's sad that life has already beaten them down at such a young age that they have already given up on those dreams they had as middle schoolers or younger: the Doctor, the Lawyer, the Fireman. I had a young man in my class last year who refused to do any work because he was convinced he was going to be a professional video game player. My thought is that if that is all he does, he should have turned pro already since many of the pros are about his age or possibly a little older. Based on a report by "The Lion's Perspective", "there's a rising class of 16-25 year olds who are considering playing video games as a job.” Professional gamers are typically in their 20's with 9 to 12 years of experience. I'm not saying he won't be nor did I discourage him at all but the likelyhood that he will need a high school diploma is vastly higher than the likelyhood he will turn pro gamer (in my opinion).

I'm glad you have a goal and a plan to stick with it. I had a similar experience when I was young and wanted to be a cheerleader. I did what it took and achieved that goal, which led to many other opportunities I would not have otherwise had, such as scholarships to college. It made me who I am today and it all started with the hopes and dreams of a little girl sitting at the fence watching the cheerleaders.

~ Kat
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Thank you, Kat, but I'm no longer sticking with that plan. Like I said, the pursuit of being on the high school basketball team has come to a close. I wouldn't consider it quitting, but that it's the realization that it's time to move on - that it's time to give up something good in order to attain something better. At the moment, however, I just don't know what I'm supposed to do next.

But yes, one thing is for certain, when I have a goal, I will pursue it relentlessly. There is never a guarantee of actually reaching that goal, unfortunately. Even so, that should never stop someone from trying. Success isn't defined by being the best, but in doing your best. If you've done everything you can, the outcome doesn't matter. You are a success.

So even though I never made the team, I can't consider myself a failure. I just don't know what my next move is.
 
Captain Jack Truesilver said:
For the last three years, I've had a goal to be on my high school's basketball team. Since sixth grade, I've been in love with basketball. The passion for it gradually became stronger as I began playing more. Towards the end of eighth grade, I had the thought, "Well, I'm terrible at basketball, but I love it a lot. What if I got good enough to play for the freshman team next year?"

Thus, the goal was born. For five and a half months, my dad helped me train to become an adequate basketball player, and by the time the tryouts came around, I'd gotten to be pretty good by freshman standards. Well, I made it to the end of the tryouts, being among the 21 best players in the school. But sadly, I was also among the eight people who were not on the roster the next day. But I never gave up. I tried again for the sophomore team, where I made it even further despite being extremely sick, and then again just this last year for junior varsity.

I never made the team. No coach in their right mind would choose a senior, no matter how good they were, who had never played on the team before. A senior wouldn't be sticking around after the season ended. A smart coach would choose good players that have chemistry and mesh and who will also be around for a little longer.

Well, I didn't quit, but I did accept that this was a chapter in my life that had come to a close. But to move on in life, you can't keep rereading previous chapters. You've got to turn the page.

Well, here's my problem. For the last three years, fighting for this dream is all I've known. All I've known is that in order to prove to my school one day that I was a good player, I had to keep going to the gym every day and battling it out with my own self doubt, as well as the doubts of others. So now that I no longer have this goal, I feel pretty aimless.

Essentially, I am the author of my life's story, but now I'm having writer's block.


So my question is this: Have any of you ever felt the same way?/Do you feel that way right now?
Click to expand...
Yes, I think we all go through that in life. Some more than others. Take for instance, my three boys. My 17 yo knows what he wants and has an end goal, but also he has planned ways to make it happen. My 12 yo has no clue....he just loves everyone and everyone loves him. He has no plan or end goal, but he's okay with that. Then there is my 10 yo who has an end goal, but still doesn't get the planning phase.
Then there's me as well. I have a plan, know how to do it, just need the money to get it done.
So you see, we all go through that phase in o ur lives. Just keep on going. Or as, I like to say (borrowed words):
Keep on swimming, keep on swimming. What do we do, we keep on swimming.
And if you hit a bad spot, just pick your reel up again and do it.

Ember Heartless
 
Yep I am feeling like that RIGHT NOW. I moved to Germany back when I was a sophomore, and I was going to be taking AP Physics in my junior year. Unfortunately, my moving was very short notice so I never actually continued onto junior year until I moved to Germany. Furthermore, the school system that was introduced to in Germany was the IB (International Baccalaureate) and some of you may or may not know how crap difficult it is. When I enrolled in physics HL, I was scolded by the physics teacher, admissions advisor and principal because apparently I had no background knowledge in physics, which was true, but they assumed I was just being arrogant because I wanted to learn physics at a higher level which hardly anyone does. I told them that I wanted to study Physics or Applied Mathematics at Uni and eventually go onto completing a doctorate to become a Physicist, but they just completely dismissed me and guilted me into dropping the class a month into the school-year. I tried to enroll again after about 4 months (I was in Biology HL for that time) and they still did not allow me. To this day (I've already graduated) it is the worst feeling to know that I will not be able to do what I want, just because some teacher thought they knew better. Now, because I don't have physics, I don't know what to do. My life is a complete stand-still. That was my only goal, a simple, yet vital one to a huge step in my life.
 
Nick Borrego said:
Yep I am feeling like that RIGHT NOW. I moved to Germany back when I was a sophomore, and I was going to be taking AP Physics in my junior year. Unfortunately, my moving was very short notice so I never actually continued onto junior year until I moved to Germany. Furthermore, the school system that was introduced to in Germany was the IB (International Baccalaureate) and some of you may or may not know how crap difficult it is. When I enrolled in physics HL, I was scolded by the physics teacher, admissions advisor and principal because apparently I had no background knowledge in physics, which was true, but they assumed I was just being arrogant because I wanted to learn physics at a higher level which hardly anyone does. I told them that I wanted to study Physics or Applied Mathematics at Uni and eventually go onto completing a doctorate to become a Physicist, but they just completely dismissed me and guilted me into dropping the class a month into the school-year. I tried to enroll again after about 4 months (I was in Biology HL for that time) and they still did not allow me. To this day (I've already graduated) it is the worst feeling to know that I will not be able to do what I want, just because some teacher thought they knew better. Now, because I don't have physics, I don't know what to do. My life is a complete stand-still. That was my only goal, a simple, yet vital one to a huge step in my life.
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Yeah, so now the question is, what are you supposed to do next, am I right? I don't enjoy being stagnant like this.
 
Captain Jack Truesilver said:
So my question is this: Have any of you ever felt the same way?/Do you feel that way right now?
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more than once over many years. you'll ride through many ebbs and flows through the course of your life. for some ppl, they be sailing through a torrent all their life, making sure the sails are always secure and beams never fall; others will have smooth waters.

Your purpose is to keep afloat, finish the journey. you'll gain missions, quests, tasks along the way -- and for those moments, you will succeed or you will fail. but no matter if you sail tears, beam splints, bow breaks, you MUST stay afloat. don't allow the water fill your lungs, smother you, and bring you down to muddy death. onward. go onward. you're young, and more things -- whether they be tangible or abstract -- will come your had give you a lesser purpose. you'll overcome whether through success or failure, but you'll live and learn through those new experiences and expectations. take those lessons and apply them to your new encounters.

just stay afloat and journey on.
 
Captn Jaq said:
more than once over many years. you'll ride through many ebbs and flows through the course of your life. for some ppl, they be sailing through a torrent all their life, making sure the sails are always secure and beams never fall; others will have smooth waters.

Your purpose is to keep afloat, finish the journey. you'll gain missions, quests, tasks along the way -- and for those moments, you will succeed or you will fail. but no matter if you sail tears, beam splints, bow breaks, you MUST stay afloat. don't allow the water fill your lungs, smother you, and bring you down to muddy death. onward. go onward. you're young, and more things -- whether they be tangible or abstract -- will come your had give you a lesser purpose. you'll overcome whether through success or failure, but you'll live and learn through those new experiences and expectations. take those lessons and apply them to your new encounters.

just stay afloat and journey on.
Click to expand...
Exactly. There must be rain in order for there to be a rainbow.
 
and all because you fail, doesn't mean you can't learn from them. you just dont want to get so depressed that you victimize yourself or end your own life or career. there are 3 major failures points in my life, and i'm still here.
 
Captn Jaq said:
and all because you fail, doesn't mean you can't learn from them. you just dont want to get so depressed that you victimize yourself or end your own life or career. there are 3 major failures points in my life, and i'm still here.
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I never said that I beat myself up about it. The real theme of the discussion was essentially finding yourself at a moment in life when you don't have any goals and you're just floating around aimlessly, having no clue what to do next. I was just giving everyone a preface as to why I felt that way to begin with.
I don't consider myself a failure at all. I just found success a different way than I had originally intended. :)
 
i guess i was bouncing off of our combined experience and addressing to those future readers who might need that additional help. all because you don't, doesnt mean others don't. i dont want anymore dying just because they think themselves without purpose or meaning.

..i'll stop now..
 
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Captn Jaq said:
i guess i was bouncing off of our combined experience and addressing to those future readers who might need that additional help. all because you don't, doesnt mean others don't. i dont want anymore dying just because they think themselves with purpose or meaning.

..i'll stop now..
Click to expand...
No, sorry, I misinterpreted what you were saying. I read "you" as if it were directly addressing me, not "you" as in the general term. You don't have to stop speaking if you have more to say. My mistake. :)
 
Captain Jack Truesilver said:
I never said that I beat myself up about it. The real theme of the discussion was essentially finding yourself at a moment in life when you don't have any goals and you're just floating around aimlessly, having no clue what to do next. I was just giving everyone a preface as to why I felt that way to begin with.
I don't consider myself a failure at all. I just found success a different way than I had originally intended. :)
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Sometimes what we have intended for ourselves, is not what is intended by God, destiny, fate, etc...whatever you believe in. However, it will become clear when it hits you. It's what I'm going through now with my job situation.
 
Ember Heartless said:
Sometimes what we have intended for ourselves, is not what is intended by God, destiny, fate, etc...whatever you believe in. However, it will become clear when it hits you. It's what I'm going through now with my job situation.
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I don't think that there's anything we're not meant / intended to do. Our fates are decided by ourselves; if God exists, then his job isn't to determine our fate, rather to give us the tools to do it ourselves.
 
Nick Borrego said:
I don't think that there's anything we're not meant / intended to do. Our fates are decided by ourselves; if God exists, then his job isn't to determine our fate, rather to give us the tools to do it ourselves.
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Well, yeah, that's exactly what God does. He doesn't do things for us, he's there to guide us.
Ember Heartless said:
Sometimes what we have intended for ourselves, is not what is intended by God, destiny, fate, etc...whatever you believe in. However, it will become clear when it hits you. It's what I'm going through now with my job situation.
Click to expand...
Exactly. :)
 
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