Luke's Wrath

Discussion in 'POTCO Tales and Myths' started by Random Person, May 11, 2011.

  1. Random Person

    Random Person Swashbuckler

    Joined:
    Apr 26, 2011
    Messages:
    13
    Likes Received:
    11
    Intro ( Chapter Zero )

    Alright, let's make the introduction snappy. My name is Luke Castillo, and I am twelve years old.
    When I was four years old, eitc soldiers came to my door looking for my uncle, Don Castillo. He had shot an eitc admiral a couple days before and escaped the soldiers looking for him by ducking into a shrub. He then returned home an hour later with a sheet of paper that said "WANTED" With his face on it. When the soldiers came to the door, we refused we had seen Don. They ran into the house and caught him in the garage. They killed our parents for not telling the truth, and took Don into custody. They did not kill me because I was only a little kid at the time, so they put me inside a Foster Home. I had a great time until i turned eight. On my eighth birthday, me and my foster parents had a talk. They said I was old enough to start doing chores. I didn't think that was so bad, until I saw what kind of things they wanted me to do. They made me wash the car, clean the toilet, wash the windows, clean the floor, wash the dishes, serve everyone, cook dinner, and a lot more. I most of the time worked from eight A.M. to nine P.M. Everyday my bones would ache and I would barely survive, thought I was still their slave. I sleep in a hard bed with a teared matress and a small blanket. I also have a broken lantern, and a tiny desk to draw on in my free time. Yep, this is the life of me. I am now twelve years old and my life hasn't changed.

    Chapter 1
    I stood, looking at the street that lay in front of me. I had my hands on the fence that kept me from leaving the yard and escaping. It was an escape - proof fence. It wobbled too much to climb, and at the gate there is an electric device that if you touch it, you get shocked. My foster parents hide the remote to turn it off somewhere secret.
    "Hello, quit standing around and come wash my dish." Lawrence Debbris told me. My foster parents, the Debbris', Have two kids : Lawrence and Josh. Lawrence is twelve like me, and John is fourteen. They both love to bully me. I want to punch them in the face, but I can't. My "Mom and dad" won't allow me to abuse them, but they allow them to abuse me. I decided to take a stand this time.
    "Clean it yourself." I muttered to him. What do I got to lose? I thought. I would rather get my face stuck in the pavement then be with these people anymore.
    "What did you just say to me, punk?" He snarled. He rolled up his sleeves and put his face right into mine.
    "Come on, enlighten me." He grinned. I was really scared.
    "You heard me. And if you didn't, maybe it's time for you to get hearing aids." I snapped.
    "I'm going to pummel you until you wish you were never born, kid." He said through clenched teeth.
    "I already wish I was never born, so go ahead. Kill me. I would appreciate it." I said to him.
    "Dude, stop! He's not worth it! Besides, our parents won't have a very good bulter if you weaken him". Josh yelled at Lawrence. Lawrence pointed a finger in my face.
    "You got cut lucky, punk. Don't consider yourself to be lucky next time. Now come clean our dishes." He ordered. I followed him into the white house into the kitchen.
    "Get to work." Josh told me and pointed to the sink. I walked over and started scrubbing dishes. My so called dad walked in when I was halfway done with the dishes and gave me a come over here sign with his finger. As I slowly walked over into the living room where mom was sitting on the couch, I thought one of my foster brothers snitched on me. I sat down next to my dad and mom started talking. Well, it was for good reason, because it was the happiest moment of my life so far.
    "Luke, we are all going to Orlando for three days. You will stay here, and if the house is wrong in any way, you are going to regret it." Mom said to me. I was happy for a moment, and I became even happier when I realized I had seventy two hours to find a way to escape my prison.

    ________________________________________________________________
     
    #1
    Meg! and Eric Guneagle like this.
  2. Eric Guneagle

    Eric Guneagle Pirate Master

    Joined:
    Apr 16, 2011
    Messages:
    758
    Likes Received:
    534
    Pretty nice. Can't wait to read about how Luke escapes :D
     
    #2
  3. Night Hunter

    Night Hunter Swashbuckler

    Joined:
    Nov 27, 2010
    Messages:
    22
    Likes Received:
    24
    Not bad. Keep on writing :)

    Needs a little improvements, but I'm no critic.
     
    #3
  4. Random Person

    Random Person Swashbuckler

    Joined:
    Apr 26, 2011
    Messages:
    13
    Likes Received:
    11
    I said John in one part it's supposed to be Josh.
     
    #4
  5. Raven Trueheart

    Site Founder

    Joined:
    Jan 1, 2011
    Messages:
    1,043
    Likes Received:
    198
    Wow...Hang in there Luke!
     
    #5
  6. Will Nightwolf

    Will Nightwolf Legendary Pirate
    Site Founder

    Joined:
    Oct 13, 2010
    Messages:
    4,940
    Likes Received:
    4,950
    Such a wonderful story
     
    #6
  7. Eric Guneagle

    Eric Guneagle Pirate Master

    Joined:
    Apr 16, 2011
    Messages:
    758
    Likes Received:
    534
    Nice story :)
     
    #7
  8. Hector wargull

    Site Founder

    Joined:
    Jul 23, 2011
    Messages:
    1,517
    Likes Received:
    655
    its okay but its not for potco forums
     
    #8
  9. Eric Guneagle

    Eric Guneagle Pirate Master

    Joined:
    Apr 16, 2011
    Messages:
    758
    Likes Received:
    534
    Yeah it is actually, its a story about what his life used to be like before he turned into a pirate.
     
    #9
  10. Hector wargull

    Site Founder

    Joined:
    Jul 23, 2011
    Messages:
    1,517
    Likes Received:
    655
    but they have a car?
     
    #10
  11. Cpt. Sharksilver

    Cpt. Sharksilver Wanted Pirate

    Joined:
    Jun 29, 2011
    Messages:
    279
    Likes Received:
    59
  12. Eric Guneagle

    Eric Guneagle Pirate Master

    Joined:
    Apr 16, 2011
    Messages:
    758
    Likes Received:
    534
    Car as in the type of cars they had back then, like chariots and old fashioned cars
     
    #12
  13. Hector wargull

    Site Founder

    Joined:
    Jul 23, 2011
    Messages:
    1,517
    Likes Received:
    655
  14. Meg!

    Meg! Notorious Pirate

    Joined:
    Apr 26, 2011
    Messages:
    699
    Likes Received:
    939
    very interusting i luv it
     
    #14