My Life With My Spania Family

Bella

Site Founder
Crista,leave PennyAlone.jpg
little pirate nephew.jpg
For Bella, sitting with little Manuel dressed as a pirate, Bulldog Penny also dressed as a pirate, and little Parrot, Christa sitting on the monitor, me explaining everything going on, and of course Christa copying everything i say. Laughing at all the comments i read to them from the forum, to the excitement that goes on when we are playing with Spania. You see, whenever with Spania, something funny, always lots of action to fascinate a little boy, and all kinds of noise for Christa to pick up on.

So you see why, is hard, the trio is broken up, such a sad Christmas, one i am trying so hard to forget, Penny gasped for air for three hours, I swear saying momma, and i could not help her, finally laid down in bed where i was petting her and thought she fell asleep,, but she died. So is hard to play Bella now, just reminds me so much of her.

I did try to play a new pirate, though a low pirate, and of course they made fun of me, was trying to level up at the fort, some girl brought in a staff, and i politely asked her to not take everyones points but to try kingswood. She would not listen,..so finally i brought in Bella, and wouldnt you know she started making fun of Spania. That is when i put in a call for backup from my family, i dont call them members, they are my brothers and sisters to me,...and they all showed up in numbers, thank you all for that. I needed that. And i am sorry, as i told you, will be awhile, till I can play as Bella again, as to me I cant think of Bella, without thinking of my bulldog, Penny.

I know it sounds so strange, all of you know me as such an outspoken person, but when it comes to animals, they are such a passion of mine, that when i love them, their death affects me so hard. My brother says go to the pound and add one more dog, nooo, i can not go near a shelter, the sight makes me ill, i cant sleep at night, thinking i cant bring every dog home, that also would be heartbraking. But I have found a Boston Terrier i am thinking of getting. She would fit in with the rest of us, and maybe, they dont take the place of the ones i lost but in the end, develop their own personalties, that last a lifetime with me. I fell in love with the pictures of Charlottes dogs. And i think i can find a small pirate costume to fit the new little one, (well she is three, little but not young)
Again ty for those that came to help today. And as for the forum, i just cant seem to laugh at the moment. All my special friends, i dont even have to name you, you, know i miss you, and will be back.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZxGd0g-wpXA
 
I am so sorry to hear this. I know how you feel. Completely. They are never truly gone, as they have imprinted themselves in our lives. Keep the memories close to your heart. Your laughter will return when you are ready.

I am sorry I missed a chance to support you as a member of Spania. Next time we are on together, let me know if there is anything you might need. I will be there.
 
So sorry Bella, hope you can smile again soon. I know a new pet can never replace the ones we lose, but I know you will give that little Boston Terrier a wonderful home and it will give you much love in return. They are such loyal, smart, loving little dogs. Come back when you are ready, we'll be here. Take care.
 
it's hard losing one that's close to you, I really do understand that. it's hard to move on and cope with life without that person/pet in your life and it gets hard to cope without them. all i hope is that will soon feel better.




R.I.P: penny <3
 
Bella i feel your pain all the way over here in Nevada. as i had a beautiful blue-eyed Siamese cat pass away last summer i had him for three winters and there is nothing like coming home to a friend who wants to suggle up eat popcorn with you and watch TCM movies. it has taken a long time for me to move on but i have a very wonderful crapzu now ,named Patchy, and he greets me everyday when i come home from work...i hope the terrier will make the crying a little less harder and the nights a bit better...i think we all have loved ones familiy or pets pass away i just look into the sky and give thanks that i had the oputunity to have met them and breath and then i continue my day:D knowing that they are watching and in a better place...
 
i also know your pain Bella,my cat passed away a year ago and i had her since i was 5 i thought the pain was deep but your always have to remember that there in a better place
 
So sorry for your loss, Bella, I've been where you're at. I have lost 3 dogs in the past two years. I watched one die and another I found his body and one never came home.
 
I'm so sory, Bella, I was really sad reading your story, made me really sad, wanted to hug you. I lost an animal too, I know how it feels, hope your better soon, HUGZ!!
Lizzy The Pirate
 
So sorry to hear of your loss Bella. We lost a cat in November that we had for the last 15 years or so... she was 17 and an abused animal that we had taken in. Her presence is still everywhere in our home and its still pretty rough on our 9yo daughter who had a habit of bursting into tears this Christmas... as she said this was the first season she did not have her cat with her.

I wish I could say something that could make you feel better but that just dosnt exist.. we all have to work through our losses. We have a new puppy this year but like you pointed out its not a replacement... we keep the memory of our lost pets with us always and learn to feel comfortable with those dark shadows or loss that linger in the background.
 
Im so so sorry to hear that Bella.. I know what it feels and dont let anyone put you down...My siberian Husky that has been in my family a little before i was born and died of a very horrible accident... Me and my brothers were hunting and we took her with us so she may have fun and catch some rabbits and stuff. When we got close to this deer we say we started stalking it.. Just as my brother shot My Princess Just happened to get in the way.. The deer ran but my princess was no more... I feel your Pain.. Hope you feel Better soon.
 
I know this story is not going to lessen your pain, but it seems like a lot of us are animal lovers. Somehow we can relate and strengthen each other a little bit by sharing our stories. Mine was an american bulldog, white and black spots, and Lefty died at the age 0f 6 last summer; 9 days after his birthday. Statistics says that they could live between 6 and 14 years, but unfortunately mine 'picked' to live the least of all ... :( .

The most heart wrenching part was that he lost weight rapidly and the vet said that he had a renal failure and would only live for 2 or 3 days at the most. I was very upset for those 3 last days of his life, wanted to spend every minute of my time with him, and was on denial that I could not do anything within my power to save his life and tried to beat the odds of losing the battle to his disease. Later I found out that I was experiencing an "anticipated grief", the thought of not being able to see him anymore after those days, and it was almost unbearable.

But I was told that I had to just remember that I had done what I could have done, and I should have no regret of not doing enough to help him. That I should remember the good times I had with him in his short life, and that he had a wonderful life with me and that he knew that he was loved. I let him go afterwards and even though I was still upset when he died, I felt at peace with his departure.

And I'm pretty sure that Lefty is probably playing tag right now with Penny, Fred, Princess and a lot more of our families up there ... :) Big hug, Bella ... Hope you feel better soon!
 
I know this story is not going to lessen your pain, but it seems like a lot of us are animal lovers. Somehow we can relate and strengthen each other a little bit by sharing our stories. Mine was an american bulldog, white and black spots, and Lefty died at the age 0f 6 last summer; 9 days after his birthday. Statistics says that they could live between 6 and 14 years, but unfortunately mine 'picked' to live the least of all ... :( .

The most heart wrenching part was that he lost weight rapidly and the vet said that he had a renal failure and would only live for 2 or 3 days at the most. I was very upset for those 3 last days of his life, wanted to spend every minute of my time with him, and was on denial that I could not do anything within my power to save his life and tried to beat the odds of losing the battle to his disease. Later I found out that I was experiencing an "anticipated grief", the thought of not being able to see him anymore after those days, and it was almost unbearable.

But I was told that I had to just remember that I had done what I could have done, and I should have no regret of not doing enough to help him. That I should remember the good times I had with him in his short life, and that he had a wonderful life with me and that he knew that he was loved. I let him go afterwards and even though I was still upset when he died, I felt at peace with his departure.

And I'm pretty sure that Lefty is probably playing tag right now with Penny, Fred, Princess and a lot more of our families up there ... :) Big hug, Bella ... Hope you feel better soon!

Reading all these stories has helped me so much, and the sadness, all of you experienced of course just wants to make me cry, but your story i had to reply to because i know so well what you mean by anticipated grief,...and when you said american bulldog, you know i am a pittbull adovcate so this really affected me, in 2004, i was lucky enough to have another argentine dogo, and yes they live between 6 and 14 years, but mine did live to 14, thank goodness, but i knew she was old, and i would have her put a coat on, just to go outside, i did not want her to die, i tried everything, and she also, was deaf and had a thyroid disease. I had to move from the house i lived with her so many years and had so many dogs, i could not take them all, so my brother found me a new place and it had stairs and i knew she could not go up them, ..everything was moved over, and for one whole month i slept on a mattress on the floor nothing else in the house, not even a refrigerator, until i got evicted, and the last day i put her in the car and took her to the vet, not even calling. It was crowded but they could tell why i was there, and she ran for the door and we all called her back, and i realized and said, she cant hear us she is deaf. The women next in line, let me take her place, and i held her, i cant even say my dogs name or have a picture of her up still, but she kicked her leg, and still did not want to die. I stayed in bed two years and cried everyday. So anticpated grief is the worst, you are just waiting for the day they die. I waited a whole month before i had the nerve to put her to sleep. But i am trying not to let that happen this time, the years long depression, and talking with you guys and listening to your stories has helped. I have to many animals at home that need me still. My others stayed on the bed those two years, including my Penny. Thank you again for sharing your stories, is heartwarming to hear the love people have for their animals. To me they are my children.:parrot:
 
i am very sorry about your loss, penny was loved by all of us due to your pic's you posted of penny and the bird. i'm sure the bird will miss penny the most, they were very close. if any thing ever happened to bear ( aka grey beard ) i don't know what i would do. i feel your pain. hang in there bella, time heals all.
 
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