Alvis
Honorable Pirate
This list will consist of bosses that are always bosses in the same exact place. These are considered to be stationary bosses, or permanent bosses. For example, Claude d'Arcis in Thieves Den (if I remember correctly). So sit back and enjoy. It will go by lowest maximum level they can have. For example, Foulberto will be last due to being lvl 50.
1. Malicioso (lvl 2-5): For the longest time, this thing never existed. Then the huge update happened where basically a lot of the story quests were changed. What was at that location before Malicioso though? We'll get to that later
2. Claude D'Arcis (lvl 5): Brought to us by the update mentioned above. We have to kill this poor guy just because he has information leading to the arrest of James Pidgely. Wait....does that make us...like that one person? Oh no. Not good.
3. Hardtack (lvl 4-9): Given to us due to the update I've already talked about. Basically a bayou alligator situation that mimics the scorpion scenario that happened. But it's still funny seeing people who just got their new doll run around with 1 HP, trying to poke that thing as much as they can.
4. General Bloodless (lvl 9-14): This boss was never moved, and was there since as long as I can remember. The only thing that has changed about this thing is that the min level used to be 11 before the update. Still....hacking away at this thing when you're level 13 won't do you any favors.
5. Samuel (lvl 13-19): His last name is probably Clemons. Because if it was....then we'd have to call this dude Mark Twain, who thought he knew everything. I wish that were true, so I could have the satisfaction of proving him wrong time and time again while stabbing him 36 times in the chest.
6. Scatter Snap (lvl 13-19): Imagine the crab barbecue we would have with this thing....oh yeah. Heck, just kill all the crabs on Cangerjos, and let's have a feast.
7. Dreadtooth (lvl 13-19): Once Disney had their last laugh for the millionth time seeing low levels try to tackle this thing solo, they finally wiped the tears from their eyes and moved it from the jungles of Tortuga to El Sudoron in Padres. Hardtack took it's place in Tortuga. Which reminds me....
8. Venom Lash (lvl 13-20): Remember Malicioso? This is the creature that thing replaced. Lash was moved to Rumrunners. Want to know something even more funny? This thing was always around lvl 19 instead of 13 when it was in Tortuga. Sorry newbies, shooting it and backing up is just gonna get you killed. Ah, the memories
9. Bonerattler (lvl 18-25): The one boss I do not remember fighting. Heck, before it was a Duelist boss, Tia Dalma incorrectly tells it's a witchdoctor boss. That is how much no one cared about this thing. And I don't blame them.
10. Croquettes de Crabe (lvl 18-25): Well...these threads were started by looking at translations, right? So let's have a looksie. Crab croquettes. Which tells us...that it's already cooked and baked and ready to serve. That is dark, Disney. Dang.
11. General Sandspine (lvl 18-25): Tia Dalma does not know what she is saying most of the time. When you go to her for your final story doll upgrade, she tells us this dude is a fierce warrior or will fight to his death. This guy is a grenadier boss. He runs away. All. The. Time. And you know the worst part of Tia Dalma's advice is? You'll see when you get to General Hex
12. Hive Queen (lvl 25): No. Just no, I refuse. I'll just give up the quest to save the Pearl. My huge fear of those...things on Perdida will not let me go further. Wait...give me that musket. Now ready, aim, fire. Mary is dead. Go tell Jack for me...and don't tell her how she died. Just say we found her dead, ok? Darn you, story update
13. Undead Timothy Barton (lvl 23-30): Former hubby of Orinda Le Jeune. Shot by Orinda Le Jeune. Tia tells you to kill this dude. Moral of story: if your last name is Barton: stay away from the ladies. They don't like you. In this game, at least
14. General Hex (lvl 23-30): Back to Tia. She called this dude a coward for being in Misty Mire. He is an undead Gypsy boss. I wouldn't talk bad about an undead gypsy dude. I heard they're good at voodoo.
15. Jacques le Blanc (lvl 35): Why did it take so long for them to make this gem? I mean...not only is he an actual challenge, him and his spanish compadre are the two most fun bosses to fight in this game. And it's not even close
16. Tomas Blanco (lvl 35): See above
17. Neban and Remington (lvl 28-35): Why was Neban so silent, and why was Remington so vicious? The world may never know. Is silence that deadly, or does Remington have a secret he doesn't want anyone to know?
18. General Darkhart (lvl 28-35): So many fanboys and fangirls of this guy, might as well call him Sephiroth.
19: Devil Root (lvl 32-40): Used to be the most fun boss to fight. Then the stupid update happened where your pirate can get knocked down. That happened and just...made this thing not fun. Because using a monkey pistol over and over again got old pretty quick.
20: Foulberto Smasho (lvl 50): I only got one thing to say about this dude. AIN'T NOBODY GOT TIME FOR THAT.
Thank you, and goodnight
1. Malicioso (lvl 2-5): For the longest time, this thing never existed. Then the huge update happened where basically a lot of the story quests were changed. What was at that location before Malicioso though? We'll get to that later
2. Claude D'Arcis (lvl 5): Brought to us by the update mentioned above. We have to kill this poor guy just because he has information leading to the arrest of James Pidgely. Wait....does that make us...like that one person? Oh no. Not good.
3. Hardtack (lvl 4-9): Given to us due to the update I've already talked about. Basically a bayou alligator situation that mimics the scorpion scenario that happened. But it's still funny seeing people who just got their new doll run around with 1 HP, trying to poke that thing as much as they can.
4. General Bloodless (lvl 9-14): This boss was never moved, and was there since as long as I can remember. The only thing that has changed about this thing is that the min level used to be 11 before the update. Still....hacking away at this thing when you're level 13 won't do you any favors.
5. Samuel (lvl 13-19): His last name is probably Clemons. Because if it was....then we'd have to call this dude Mark Twain, who thought he knew everything. I wish that were true, so I could have the satisfaction of proving him wrong time and time again while stabbing him 36 times in the chest.
6. Scatter Snap (lvl 13-19): Imagine the crab barbecue we would have with this thing....oh yeah. Heck, just kill all the crabs on Cangerjos, and let's have a feast.
7. Dreadtooth (lvl 13-19): Once Disney had their last laugh for the millionth time seeing low levels try to tackle this thing solo, they finally wiped the tears from their eyes and moved it from the jungles of Tortuga to El Sudoron in Padres. Hardtack took it's place in Tortuga. Which reminds me....
8. Venom Lash (lvl 13-20): Remember Malicioso? This is the creature that thing replaced. Lash was moved to Rumrunners. Want to know something even more funny? This thing was always around lvl 19 instead of 13 when it was in Tortuga. Sorry newbies, shooting it and backing up is just gonna get you killed. Ah, the memories
9. Bonerattler (lvl 18-25): The one boss I do not remember fighting. Heck, before it was a Duelist boss, Tia Dalma incorrectly tells it's a witchdoctor boss. That is how much no one cared about this thing. And I don't blame them.
10. Croquettes de Crabe (lvl 18-25): Well...these threads were started by looking at translations, right? So let's have a looksie. Crab croquettes. Which tells us...that it's already cooked and baked and ready to serve. That is dark, Disney. Dang.
11. General Sandspine (lvl 18-25): Tia Dalma does not know what she is saying most of the time. When you go to her for your final story doll upgrade, she tells us this dude is a fierce warrior or will fight to his death. This guy is a grenadier boss. He runs away. All. The. Time. And you know the worst part of Tia Dalma's advice is? You'll see when you get to General Hex
12. Hive Queen (lvl 25): No. Just no, I refuse. I'll just give up the quest to save the Pearl. My huge fear of those...things on Perdida will not let me go further. Wait...give me that musket. Now ready, aim, fire. Mary is dead. Go tell Jack for me...and don't tell her how she died. Just say we found her dead, ok? Darn you, story update
13. Undead Timothy Barton (lvl 23-30): Former hubby of Orinda Le Jeune. Shot by Orinda Le Jeune. Tia tells you to kill this dude. Moral of story: if your last name is Barton: stay away from the ladies. They don't like you. In this game, at least
14. General Hex (lvl 23-30): Back to Tia. She called this dude a coward for being in Misty Mire. He is an undead Gypsy boss. I wouldn't talk bad about an undead gypsy dude. I heard they're good at voodoo.
15. Jacques le Blanc (lvl 35): Why did it take so long for them to make this gem? I mean...not only is he an actual challenge, him and his spanish compadre are the two most fun bosses to fight in this game. And it's not even close
16. Tomas Blanco (lvl 35): See above
17. Neban and Remington (lvl 28-35): Why was Neban so silent, and why was Remington so vicious? The world may never know. Is silence that deadly, or does Remington have a secret he doesn't want anyone to know?
18. General Darkhart (lvl 28-35): So many fanboys and fangirls of this guy, might as well call him Sephiroth.
19: Devil Root (lvl 32-40): Used to be the most fun boss to fight. Then the stupid update happened where your pirate can get knocked down. That happened and just...made this thing not fun. Because using a monkey pistol over and over again got old pretty quick.
20: Foulberto Smasho (lvl 50): I only got one thing to say about this dude. AIN'T NOBODY GOT TIME FOR THAT.
Thank you, and goodnight
