The Bad Joke Thread

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Megatatortot said:
( Hope this is appropriate :) )

Q: What's the cheapest kind of meat?
A: Deer balls, they're under a buck.
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ha, ha. :cool:

You know for some reason, this joke you told reminded me of this particular scene within the movie, "The Three Amigos."

(Hoping I don't get banned like, forever from the forums now)​
 
Ok, so a very pregnant single woman was crossing the road when a car came out of nowhere and ran her down. She was unconscious and rushed to hospital where they immediately carried out a caesarian section to save the baby, or actually babies because they delivered twins, a boy and a girl. The babies were fine but the poor mother remained unconscious for several weeks. Eventually she came round and over the next few days recovered well. The hospital staff reassured her that her babies were fine, and were being cared for in the hospital maternity wing. When the new mom was strong enough they brought the babies in to see her, and she held them close. "I need to give them names", she said but the nurse explained that her brother, who had been visiting regularly, had already named them. The mother (who knew what her brother was like!) looked worried,... "what did he call this one?" she said pointing to the baby girl. The nurse said "Denise" and the woman looked relieved - a good ordinary name. Then she pointed to the baby boy. "What did he call this one?" she asked, and the nurse said "Denephew"!
 
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Davy Darkrage said:
A guy walks into a bar, and half his head is an orange.

Bartender: What can I get y -- whoa, half your head is an orange!! How did that happen?!

Guy: Magic Lamp, rubbed it, three wishes etc etc.

Bartender: What in the world were your three wishes? Half your head is an orange!

Guy: First, I wished for every woman in the world to love me.

Bartender: Alright, what was your second wish?

Guy: Second, I wished that I was a billionaire.

Bartender: Then what in the world was your third wish, if half your head is a freaking orange?

Guy: It was a silly wish. I don't wanna say.

Bartender: Go on tell me, I'll give you a drink.

Guy: Okay, well, for my third wish, I wished that half my head was an orange.
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Wow! Great description of Donald Trump! But it's his whole body not just half his head! ;) ;)
Just a joke plz don't ban me
 
CaptainGreg said:
How come we cant go twice in a row?
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Because it allows others to take turns at telling jokes too. If nobody posts for several days then you are allowed to post again to revive the thread, but only in that instance.

So I don't derail the thread:

What do you get when you cross a dyslexic, an insomniac, and an agnostic?

Someone who lays awake at night wondering if there is a dog.
 
Peter Goldbeard said:
Wow! Great description of Donald Trump! But it's his whole body not just half his head! ;) ;)
Just a joke plz don't ban me
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Even if it is a joke, you shouldn't mention any kind of political beliefs. Really, nothing good can come from it. Some people may respect or disrespect a political figure that you don't.
 
Well, Kloe, let's have a look at the local news: ...a man was arrested for trying to mail a watermellon with food stamps.
 
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Since no one has posted a joke for a while, its time for me to put another one down...

What did the student say to another student when he found out that he was the only person who got an A on the test?

He said, "I can C why all of you aren't Dlighted Bcause you do better on tests".
 
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