So this is a story I've been working on for a long time now (with not much to show for it, sadly) on another forums. The writing is decent in the beginning, but it takes a plunge. I'm working on fixing this. I try to read/edit my work every so often to catch mistakes or typos. This story is not finished yet, so I will be posting the new chapters as they become available. Please do not post in this thread for the convenience of others. Without further ado, I bring you:
Legend of the Zytarians
Introduction
The room looked old, like it had been there forever. Swords and weaponry hung on the wall. It was dimly lit by candles. A man pointed his finger on some sort of map. His face was almost as red as the fires burning outside. The man screamed, "The Heresians are right outside this building! There's no way we can hold them off now!" The man beside him looked much younger and calmer.
"Maybe not, but we have a chance of survival."
"No, it's too big of a risk. And they're just infants! I'm telling you, they aren't ready."
The younger man looked at the flames outside, "They're our only hope. They have the power to rebuild our city." His face tightened,
"My king, they can accomplish what we never could. They can win this fight." The door began to shake and screams could be heard from the outside. The king stood from his chair. "I trust you, Robert. They do have the gift to rebuild Zytara. If the only way to defeat the Heresians is to first be defeated ourselves, then so be it. Ready the troops. We give those kids as much time possible to escape." Robert walked to a nearby table and began pressing buttons. A hologram floated in front of him, which didn't exactly fit the archaic-looking room. "Honey," he said. "It's time." The hologram disappeared and Robert stood with tears in his eyes. The door broke from its hinges and men flooded the room
Suddenly, I was in a different room. The flames were getting closer. A beautiful woman ran through, grabbing objects from all over the room. She scooped a crying child into her arms. It had dark blue eyes and blond hair. He couldn't have been older than 2. "Shhh. I promise, Ryan, everything will be fine."
I was back in the map room again. Men lined the walls. Robert and the king, who were now holding swords, were at the opposite end. A tall man with long dark hair stepped through the group of Heresians. "The king and his advisor together? Brilliant! Don't worry. I shall make your deaths quick." A crooked smile formed across his face. Robert stepped forward. "Michael, you don't need to do this. We were once great friends and allies. Why would you-"
"Because he took my place!" Michael yelled. He had his sword pointed at the king. "I was the rightful heir to Zytara when my father gave his blessing to my brother instead."
"But even after that we remained allies. Then you..." he paused. "you began running Heresia." The king took a step forward, carefully watching the blade aimed at him. "You run a kingdom! Shouldn't that be enough for you?"
"No! Heresia is a barren land. We were starving while you lived in your perfect city."
"Brother, if you would've told me-"
"I don't want your help! I want what's mine! I'm going to have Zytara. Even if I have to kill you to get it."
The king dropped his sword, and stared into his brother's eyes. "But you don't have to. Come back to Zytara, brother. We will rule together." Michael also dropped his sword and walked towards the king. The king opened his arms to him. Michael began to reach to his back. "No!" Robert screamed. But it was too late. The king stared at the bleeding wound the knife had created. "Brother." he choked out, and the color left his face. "You are not my brother." Michael said, as he shoved the lifeless king out of the window. He disappeared into the flames that burned outisde. Robert stood speechless as he stared at the twisted Heresian king. Michael began walking out of the room. He was in the doorway when he paused. "Kill him." he ordered. The army of men charged at Robert. Even with his sword he was defenseless. It was over in seconds.
The woman carried the child to a river. He looked up at his mother, who had pulled some sort of fruit out of her pocket. "Here, Ryan. Eat this. It shall give you the power to restore your home. It will know when you are ready." The thing didn't even look edible and it glowed some strange shade of green. Despite the look, the child consumed the food. He let out a small burp and the mother smiled. Two more women appeared beside her and fed their children the same substance as the blue-eyed baby. The women cried and held their children until they heard footsteps nearby. "We have to go." one woman said. They placed the crying infants into their individual baskets. The flames could be seen devouring structures in the distance and the footsteps were getting louder. There wasn't much time left. The women sent them down the river. The footsteps got louder and louder until a high-pitched shriek broke through the night sky.
Legend of the Zytarians
Introduction
The room looked old, like it had been there forever. Swords and weaponry hung on the wall. It was dimly lit by candles. A man pointed his finger on some sort of map. His face was almost as red as the fires burning outside. The man screamed, "The Heresians are right outside this building! There's no way we can hold them off now!" The man beside him looked much younger and calmer.
"Maybe not, but we have a chance of survival."
"No, it's too big of a risk. And they're just infants! I'm telling you, they aren't ready."
The younger man looked at the flames outside, "They're our only hope. They have the power to rebuild our city." His face tightened,
"My king, they can accomplish what we never could. They can win this fight." The door began to shake and screams could be heard from the outside. The king stood from his chair. "I trust you, Robert. They do have the gift to rebuild Zytara. If the only way to defeat the Heresians is to first be defeated ourselves, then so be it. Ready the troops. We give those kids as much time possible to escape." Robert walked to a nearby table and began pressing buttons. A hologram floated in front of him, which didn't exactly fit the archaic-looking room. "Honey," he said. "It's time." The hologram disappeared and Robert stood with tears in his eyes. The door broke from its hinges and men flooded the room
Suddenly, I was in a different room. The flames were getting closer. A beautiful woman ran through, grabbing objects from all over the room. She scooped a crying child into her arms. It had dark blue eyes and blond hair. He couldn't have been older than 2. "Shhh. I promise, Ryan, everything will be fine."
I was back in the map room again. Men lined the walls. Robert and the king, who were now holding swords, were at the opposite end. A tall man with long dark hair stepped through the group of Heresians. "The king and his advisor together? Brilliant! Don't worry. I shall make your deaths quick." A crooked smile formed across his face. Robert stepped forward. "Michael, you don't need to do this. We were once great friends and allies. Why would you-"
"Because he took my place!" Michael yelled. He had his sword pointed at the king. "I was the rightful heir to Zytara when my father gave his blessing to my brother instead."
"But even after that we remained allies. Then you..." he paused. "you began running Heresia." The king took a step forward, carefully watching the blade aimed at him. "You run a kingdom! Shouldn't that be enough for you?"
"No! Heresia is a barren land. We were starving while you lived in your perfect city."
"Brother, if you would've told me-"
"I don't want your help! I want what's mine! I'm going to have Zytara. Even if I have to kill you to get it."
The king dropped his sword, and stared into his brother's eyes. "But you don't have to. Come back to Zytara, brother. We will rule together." Michael also dropped his sword and walked towards the king. The king opened his arms to him. Michael began to reach to his back. "No!" Robert screamed. But it was too late. The king stared at the bleeding wound the knife had created. "Brother." he choked out, and the color left his face. "You are not my brother." Michael said, as he shoved the lifeless king out of the window. He disappeared into the flames that burned outisde. Robert stood speechless as he stared at the twisted Heresian king. Michael began walking out of the room. He was in the doorway when he paused. "Kill him." he ordered. The army of men charged at Robert. Even with his sword he was defenseless. It was over in seconds.
The woman carried the child to a river. He looked up at his mother, who had pulled some sort of fruit out of her pocket. "Here, Ryan. Eat this. It shall give you the power to restore your home. It will know when you are ready." The thing didn't even look edible and it glowed some strange shade of green. Despite the look, the child consumed the food. He let out a small burp and the mother smiled. Two more women appeared beside her and fed their children the same substance as the blue-eyed baby. The women cried and held their children until they heard footsteps nearby. "We have to go." one woman said. They placed the crying infants into their individual baskets. The flames could be seen devouring structures in the distance and the footsteps were getting louder. There wasn't much time left. The women sent them down the river. The footsteps got louder and louder until a high-pitched shriek broke through the night sky.
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