Star Trek: Federation Legacy

What do you think of the story so far?

  • It's excellent! I look forward to reading more.

  • It's good, but still needs some work.

  • Meh. It's okay.

  • I hate it.

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Jason O'Connell

Jason O'Connell

Forum Mod
This thread is for discussion of my fan fiction story, Star Trek: Federation Legacy, first published on FanFiction.net on June 11, 2013. You can read it here.

It's based loosely on the Star Trek Online story but with my own twist and original characters.

Please note: this story is rated T (age 13+) for some mild adult themes. Please give feedback either in this thread or on FanFiction.net!

I also run a wiki for Star Trek-themed fan fictions if anyone is interested. It is called Federation Legacy Wiki.
 
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Thumbs up! Awesome story!
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I am in the middle of writing chapter 2, so I will post it soon :)

Thanks for the positive feedback!

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Here are two chapters that I've completely rewritten (they've been replaced by "The Price of Liberty" and "Line in the Sand", respectively). I didn't wanna delete them completely, so I now consider them a standalone alternate timeline.

Volume 0 (rewritten chapters)
  1. "Khitomer Crisis"
  2. "The Price of Liberty"
 
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Ch. 1: "The Price of Liberty"

Summary:
The USS Leviathan responds to a distress call from the SS Break Even but is attacked en route by a Klingon vessel hellbent on gaining an advantage in the war with the Federation.

Ch. 2: "Line in the Sand"

Summary:
After a terrible and extraordinary event which leaves both the commanding and executive officer positions vacant, Ensign Jason Fredricks takes command of the USS Leviathan, joining the USS Renown in the Pollux system to assist another vessel in need.
 
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Here's the next two!

Ch. 4: "Diplomatic Orders"

Summary:
A simple mission to escort a Vulcan ambassador to the P'Jem monastery goes awry when the Klingons claim that he is an Undine spy.

Ch. 5: "Hide and Seek"

Summary:
The crew of the USS Leviathan discovers an illegal mining operation by the Gorn Hegemony in the Lackey system, and a Klingon listening post hidden deep within the Paulson Nebula.
 
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Hey Jason,
Just got caught up on my chapters, I lost track of this when .com went down. I think I was like 2 chapters behind, and IMO you started out very good, and are getting better. I am glad to see Ernie's relationship is growing, I for one would like to see him smile more.

The only criticism I would have is, maybe add more humor. I know it's involved, and the drama parts are great, but I saw more humor in earlier chapters. Fredericks has a wise butt streak, maybe as wide as Kirk, and I would love seeing more of it. Just my opinion, you have a good sense of humor, and I thought those were the best parts of Star Trek, when Spock would say "An emotional outburst seemed warranted, sir", or something like that.

Anyway you go with it, keep em coming, I'm enjoying the heck out of them!
 
It's been a while since I last posted an update to the story here, so here it is:

Ch. 6: "Stop the Signal"

Summary:
Lucas Wells' uncle, Remus, visits the USS Leviathan, and all is well until he is accused of selling Federation weapons to the Klingon Empire.

Ch. 7: "Researcher Rescue"

Summary:
The USS Leviathan gains two new crew members – one, an old friend of Jason Fredricks' – the other, a former lover who now has a strong dislike for him.

Ch. 8: "The Kuvah'Magh"

Summary:
The USS Leviathan is ordered to Regulus IV to mediate peace talks between the Federation and Klingon Empire. They soon find out, however, that not everyone wants peace.

Ch. 9: "War Is Good for Business"

Summary:
After a failed away mission leads to the deaths of several crewmen, Jason Fredricks begins having qualms about serving in Starfleet. The crew attempts to adjust to Fredricks' replacement, Commander Jarek Davis.
 
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I've had this rubber-band cutting the circulation off on my finger and...oh yeah...I placed it there because it was suppose to remind me to read through all of these chapters of yours.
*I think I will do just that sooooooooooo...I am ending this message for now. :p
 
Hey all, I know it's been quite a while since I've posted to this thread, but I have published a few more chapters, and I couldn't find this thread until recently, so here they are:

Ch. 10: "Treasure Trading Station"

Summary:
Lieutenant Jason Fredricks contemplates whether to return to Starfleet or take a different path. The crew of the USS Leviathan attempts to expose Commander Jarek Davis' ties to the Tal Shiar.

Ch. 11: "Secret Orders"

Summary:
Following a lead given by the Orion defector Marta, the USS Leviathan is sent to the Briar Patch to find a hidden Klingon base there. After suffering through the trauma brought on by the death of Jhael Onika, Phil Schrader considers stepping down from the position of chief engineer.
 
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And now, finally, the long awaited next chapter!

Ch. 12: "Task Force Hippocrates"

Summary:
The crew of the USS Leviathan deals with the aftermath of their two engineers' deaths during an assignment to the Federation-Klingon border. While there, they uncover a secret Klingon plot to use genetic engineering for an unknown purpose.

It's been six months in the making (delayed because of school and work :mad:), but it's finally here!
 
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Just got caught up on the journeys of Captain Fredricks, and after 11 episodes, I am left with two thoughts: 1) they are certainly as engaging as most of the Trek episodes I have seen, and I have seen them all, and you are getting better with character development and overall dialog as it progresses. 2) I have finally found the person who uses "Damm" in their stories more often than I do. Kudos, darn it.

The new bartender/councilor character is great, as more problems can be solved sitting on a stool than laying on a couch, an old Irish proverb attests. That probably comes from the fact that there's more barrooms closer to churches than psychiatrist offices. Or so I hear.

I assume you are taking writing courses in school, if you aren't, I would seriously think about it. We need a few good sci fi writers in Hollywood, most of the ones we have now are a bit lacking in quality, save for the Marvel franchise, which kicks Ferengi butt-like head.

I see 12 is now up, I haven't gotten a chance to sit down to read yet, but looking forward to it. Great job, Jason, and keep em coming! More...Ernie...more...Ernie...more...Ernie...
 
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